The Secret to Less Stress, More Productivity: Life Lessons from Planning a Wedding
By Tiffany Monhollon | April 24, 2008
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Days away from the wedding now, and I’m at the point where I need about two minutes of productivity for every minute I have. Work, life, and dealing with all the last minute things is more than enough to keep me going nonstop, about 20 hours a day. 18 if I’m lucky.
So when people come up to me with the customary smiles of, “How are plans going,” or “Are you ready,” it’s kind of hard to convey that really, I’m doing great. I’m the type of person who tends to wear my heart on my sleeve and my stress on my face. And apparently, despite my best efforts at fasting stress up until the wedding, some of it just creeps in despite my best efforts. I realized this when a few weeks ago, after a wedding shower thrown by my best friends and attendants, someone approached me to apologize about the shower, because I looked upset – which shocked me, because I couldn’t have been more pleased by their heartfelt, low-key, intimate event. I explained that what I really looked like was stress and lack of sleep incarnate, and for all the world, I wished I could re-wind the time and take that moment back so that they all knew that in my heart, I was as happy as could be.
But that’s just the thing. I can’t rewind and have these moments back. And there’s literally more to be done than there is time to be awake.
So, what’s a bride-to-be to do? What’s anybody to do when the pressure’s on and time is running out? Here are my survival secrets that are keeping me coping when it’s down to the wire.
1) Calculate opportunity costs. Despite my best efforts a few weeks ago of typing out checklists for each day, unforseen things keep popping up. Where the heck is my swimsuit, for example, and is it a better use of my time and resources (and limited brain power) to search boxes strewn about my house for it, spend the time shopping for a new one, or pick one up on location? I know now why the wedding industry is so huge. Because when it comes down to it, you get to the point where there simply is no more time, and monetary cost becomes less and less of a consideration.
Life lesson: Whether you’re planning a wedding or trying to get more done in life, at work, etc., learn to consider opportunity costs. This is an easy way to clarify priorities and help you decide which of a myriad of plans will be the best option.
2) Plan to delegate. I’m very much a DIY kind of girl. And I love planning events. Heck, I’ve been a maid of honor twice, so I’ve got much of this wedding thing down. But I have to say, days out, now I understand why people spend so much paying other people to plan these things. Because it’s very easy to get way over your head and too involved when it’s your own big event.
Luckily for me, I have a team of wonderful supporters offering to lend a hand. Unluckily for me, I should have planned better to have help. Because when it comes to big things like your own wedding, you care about the details. But when it comes down choosing “do I want to make time to pick out what color of ribbon will be on the cake?” or “do I want to make time to go get my marriage license with my fiance?” your priorities become clear.
Life lesson: Make plans that include what you can delegate and what you need to do yourself. Then, delegate things as soon as possible. Choose people who you trust, and make time to communicate with them. A follow-up call with a friend buying ribbon takes a lot less time than trudging to the store yourself.
3) Pay for help. When it comes down to it, there are just some times when you need to pay for help to make sure you are sane. And since the people you trust are busy doing the things you want to do yourself but don’t have time for, buying help you can trust is well worth it when you’re in crunch time. Even though it hurts when money is tight, spending $50 for a few things at an excellent dry cleaner is a load off the mind that’s worth its weight in gold. Another $60 to get my dress steamed (again) after a lovely romp across the botanical gardens for my bridal portraits this weekend seems ridiculous, but the peace of mind that I won’t be standing in a designer gown with a crumpled train is priceless.
Life lesson: Career and productivity experts say investing in help is worth it. They’re right. It’s up to you to decide how often and to what extent you want to pay other people to help you, but it’s an option worth considering, especially if your only other option is to stop sleeping.
4) Say no. Planning, making lists, writing timelines, trying to stay on top of everything that has to be done has the funny side effect of also making you add more things to those lists, plans and timelines. Some of those things are necessary (Note to self: check on catastrophic insurance coverage tomorrow for soon-to-be hubby.) Other things are not. They have bookstores in the airport, so my impulse to hit Barnes and Noble after a long day of errands, though relaxing, should have stayed in the idea pile.
Life lesson: Delete things off your to-do list. Cancel appointments that don’t matter. Avoid new responsibilities. When it’s down to the wire, your ability to say no (especially to yourself!) and refuse to take on more will be priceless.
5) Say yes. There’s something you’re particularly aware of in these intense times in life - and that’s time. Most often, the ridiculous lack thereof. Moments seem to slip by without notice. Months slip into weeks, then into days, hours… it’s hard to keep track of the moments as they pass. But it’s the most important thing. Sitting in the car on the way to get our marriage license today, I had the distinct desire to be present, in the moment, moved. To say yes to the moment.
This is actually the hardest part of this whole thing. Being in the moment. Sometimes, this makes you do things that seem just a little bit crazy. Why, for example, am I choosing to blog when there’s laundry to do and phone calls to make? Jewelry to finish and gifts to wrap? Why will I make time to go to yoga tomorrow night regardless of whether or not I’m finished packing? My answer to myself is that anything I can do to live within, to capture, to say yes to the moments - fleeting as they are - is well worth its time.
Life lesson: It sounds like the most utterly trite thing I can think of, but it’s true. Even when stress is high, don’t forget to do things you love, to be who you are, to revel in the moment, to be alive.
In the end, that’s what this is anyway. Not a rush to a deadline. Not a series of endless tasks. It’s your life. Every day. So live it as well as you can.
Topics: Learning, Life, Success, Time Management | 3 Comments »
Note to Millennials: You Aren’t Workforce Royalty Yet
By Tiffany Monhollon | April 10, 2008
With spring graduations just around the corner, in my world of work, the subject of new recruits entering the workforce is top of mind. Since part of my job includes writing advice for employers, I am happy to report that they’re starting to get the message about the coming worker shortage. SHRM reports that in 2007, the coming worker shortage actually made the top of the list of employer concerns. This is great for Millennials entering the workforce, because it means that companies are starting to gear policies and benefits to appeal more and more to younger workers.
But another part of my job includes a table at the hiring process for entry level and intern positions within my department. And I’ve also noticed an unsettling trend from job-seeking Millennials: a real, deluded sense of entitlement about what employers are looking for and all the other realities of the hiring process.
Ask any hiring manager, and I’m sure they’ll report something similar. So with both of those perspectives in mind, here’s a glimpse from a Millennial on the other side of the hiring table for all the other Millennial soon-to-be grads out there gearing up for the job search.
1 - Employers don’t need warm bodies to fill empty thrones.
Yes, Baby Boomers hold most of the leadership roles in companies right now. That doesn’t mean you will be able to apply for their job. Somehow, Millennials think that the reality of sitting in the C-Suite for a top company could be realized in the next five years simply because Boomers are starting to retire. Not taking into account hundreds of other employees – younger Boomers and experienced Gen Xers – who have paid their dues and are waiting to fill those leadership positions in companies that are still, for the most part, hierarchically structured, at the very least, to favor actual work experience.
I sat in an interview with a Millennial candidate who literally used the words “easy street” to describe what a former employer would say of their work ethic. This candidate then proceeded to tell my boss that in a couple of years, their goal was to be: “In your chair. And in five or so, I’d like to be the CEO of a company like this.” P.S. – We are a multi-billion dollar international company. So, yeah, right.
If appearing confident is what the candidate was going for with this, they failed miserably. Because it’s important to demonstrate to potential employers that you understand your place in a work setting. And it’s also important not to demonstrate that you are entirely delusional about how career pathing works in real life. Because no one wants to manage people with completely irrational, impatient demands for undeserved advancement.
2 - Experience still rules, it’s just wearing different robes.
I like to tell graduating seniors to not turn their noses at any post-college professional work experience, especially in certain job sectors. Many companies offer paid and unpaid internships to graduates rather than full-time jobs, because that’s the entry-level way into their company. It’s important to consider these especially if you don’t have any prior professional experience from during semesters or summers in college. And sometimes, even if you do have experience, this can be an important stepping stone.
I took an internship (my third or forth) at a Fortune 500 company the summer after graduating with two degrees, in the honors college, Summa Cum Laude, from one of the top liberal arts colleges in the country, and the internship is what helped me build my professional network that led to the job I have now, with a great boss who created a career path for me and is a partner in my success.
Employers pay for experience and excellence on the job, not degrees and titles and GPAs, even though there’s nothing wrong with those things. So, see your first post-grad job as an investment in your career just like you did your college experience (which you paid for outright!) Employers also understand that they need to shape and mold Gen Y in to future workplace leaders. So don’t turn down a great stepping-stone opportunity just because it’s not the job you dreamed of. Dreams are reached, not given.
3 - Remember, you’re not the heir or heiress to this kingdom, so you’ll have to work for your fortune. Don’t believe the hype that you need to get the most money possible in your first post-grad job experience. Your parents may tell you this, but they are wrong. This is simply not the same world or job market that they entered, when you had to hold out for the highest salary because you would stay at that company forever and only build your salary based off of moving up from where you started day one.
We once had a candidate turn down a good paying job because of advice like this from a parent, and it took them months to find a good gig (probably one that paid less) after that. Don’t make this mistake.
Sure, you have debt to pay off, but holding out months and months for a high-dollar job is going to hurt you in the long run because it will make you less employable with every week that passes. Employers won’t think, “Wow, I must be getting a great candidate because they’ve held out for three months to apply for this high-paying position!” Trust me.
After you’ve got a year or two of whatever-paying experience under your belt, you will be a more valuable hire and can go somewhere else if your employer isn’t valuing you with a good salary by then.
All this can seem pretty frustrating to some Millennials, who wonder with all the fuss, why bother going the corporate route anyway?
The reason is that the worker shortage is coming. And by entering the world of work now, getting experience under your belt, and growing yourself as a professional, you may in fact become the answer to employers’ greatest fears. Invest in your career. Master Personal PR. Grow your personal brand. Do your best work every day. Align yourself with opportunities that can lead to your dreams.
Your chance to lead is coming. But you’ve got to prove you can do the job first.
Topics: Career Advancement, Career Development, Generations, Leadership, Learning, Personal PR | 19 Comments »
Personal PR & Identity Confessions of a Bride-to-Be
By Tiffany Monhollon | April 5, 2008
Lately, I’ve been feeling like a lot of all the customs involved with “getting married” in America are nothing short of a big, pointless, hassle, consumerism at its most effective, emotionally-clad best. Internationally or unintentionally set in the way of well-intentioned brides to keep us from thinking deeply about the larger issues women face when preparing to enter the life- and identity-altering state of actually being married.
One of the deeper issues came up the other night, when my fiance and I ordered his wedding band, and the sales person asked me for my name for the ticket, which I gave, and then prompted me for my “future name,” to which I replied easily, “I’m not sure yet if I’m going to change my name or not,” to which she smiled and said, “I didn’t, and that was ten years ago!” She still had a ring in the appropriate digit to signify the status of married, so I took that to be a sign of approval and success for such a decision, and moved on, focusing on the pearls.
Then one glance over to my sweet fiancé’s poor face revealed what a heart-wrenching statement that off-handed comment was to him. I asked gently, “That really hurt your feelings, didn’t it?” And he admitted that yes, it felt like a blow that I was really, seriously, considering it. This was the first time I’d announced the idea to a stranger, in his presence, at least. So maybe he finally realized I was serious about it.
It was not well received among my inner circle of friends when I tested the idea at a friend’s wedding reception a month or so ago. “Why not?” “You’re crazy,” “What’s the point?” “What about your future children,” and “But, don’t you love him?” were some of the incredulous replies from my closest friends.
But, I’m not too concerned with what other people think – other than my fiancé, whose opinion out of love I choose to weigh with equal or more weight than my own. I’m a forward-thinking gal. One who’s got quite a bit of social capital, personal branding, and presence revolving around the little issue of my name. My name that is unique to me, a quality that many others with “common” names don’t quite get, that I have had to come to grips with anyway, that I have finally accepted and reveled in and embraced, publicly, to the world. My fiance’s last name, on the other hand, is one of the top 10 most common. So yeah, I’m considering keeping mine.
“I thought you were just going to keep writing under your maiden name, but take my name, you know, in life,” he said. Yes, that had been the working plan. About a year ago. A year in which a lot has changed for me. In which I have grown, learned to love my name, as difficult as it is to spell. In which I have struggled anyway with the already great divide between career and life for the modern career woman.
But also a year in which I’ve grown as an individual and a future life mate. In which I’ve tested the merits of compromise, of putting relationships, especially the most important ones, first, and found the choice to be wholly satisfying. In which I’ve chosen to accept the proposal to fully commit my life to that of another, no matter how big or small the issues, a commitment that I take very seriously and am excited to figure out how to operate within in just less than a month.
It’s not the person or the commitment, but rather the culture that puts this sort of identity-crushing expectation of a name change onto women that I have a hard time coming to grips with.
I wrestle with that, with planning for kids, with career plans, with expectations, with all the trappings of being a modern women that are more than minorly complicated when marriage comes into the equation.
By nature, I question all of it, because I know in doing so I will find my own way, whether it follows the beaten path or not. As a product of homeschool, it was proven to me that the unconventional choice, when made with everyone’s best interest in mind, can be incredibly effective.
But out of love, I also realize that in getting married, I’m choosing to commit not just one aspect of my identity to another person. I’m choosing to surrender all of who I am to someone who’s surrendering all of who they are to me. And I realize that the word “surrender” will be highly contested by other forward-thinking women and perhaps men. That’s fine. They don’t have to choose frame this commitment in the same light that I do. But to me, that is quite simply the ultimate description of what real love is. And here’s what it looks like.
After the exchange in the store, my fiancé sat silent for a moment, thinking. Then, he looked at me, with his eyes full of all the love that makes me know I can trust all of myself and my identity to him, and said, “Know what, it’s your name. And in the end, that’s not a decision I’ll ever have to face.” Stripping himself of his pride, of his blind acceptance of a cultural norm neither of us can fully rationalize, he loved me in that moment exactly in the way a forward-thinking gal deeply desires to be loved.
“I will leave it up to you.”
Topics: Authenticity, Learning, Life, Personal Branding, Personal PR, Relationships, Women | 20 Comments »
Personal PR and Priorities: Investing in Relationships from the Top Down
By Tiffany Monhollon | March 26, 2008
“The future of work is managing a portfolio of limited assets – like time and attention – far more wisely than most of us do today.” – The Simplicity Survival Handbook, p. 59
In today’s multitasking-ridden, busy, scheduled lifestyle of the typical professional, this statement extends way beyond career. In fact, it’s the basic issue of work meets life that so many of us struggle with on a day to day basis.
It’s a constant, present reality in our lives. But it hits home sometimes more than others. For me, right now is one of those times. I’m getting married in a month, and the list of wedding to dos, along with life to dos, is impossibly long.
So, it’s appropriate that a friend challenged a group of us to fast something for 40 days – we started a little late for Lent, but the fast will end just days before my wedding, so it’s a nice way to have a purposeful last month as a single gal. I wracked my brain to think of something worth fasting, decided that fasting caffeine would be a disaster and help no one, and got stuck. Then one overwhelming day of wedding planning, it hit me clearly: I needed to fast stress.
That’s right. I’m fasting stress. I know that’s not the most conventional of fasts, and I don’t have a clear answer for people when they asked exactly what that means, but let me just say, it’s working so far. When my mom calls to freak out about chair covers, I just say, “you know what, mom, I’m fasting stress, so I’ll go ahead and let you worry about that, because at this point, the wedding’s happening whether or not we have anything to cover the chairs with, and I’m abundantly happy about that.” And then I laugh about it, refuse to internalize the issue, and move on, stress-free.
Know what? It works. Attitude really is an amazingly strong force.
The stress-fast has also helped me clearly focus on my priorities in a way I haven’t experienced in a long time.
One thing that’s meant is spending more time with my fiancé talking and planning and just enjoying each other’s time. And spending less time reading and researching and blogging and creating killer content. For a while, that’s had a surprising amount of guilt and remorse attached to it. I have such grand plans for this place, so many content ideas, so much to say. I can’t believe that since I launched this blog, I’ve only averaged a post a week. That puts my former norm of 3-5 posts a week utterly to shame.
But guess what? That hasn’t really hurt me. In fact, in the short time I’ve been blogging here – once a week, no less – I’ve grown to a healthy readership of over 300 subscribers, developed some valuable and engaging conversations, and started to establish a very insightful, supportive community. From where I stand, that’s about the best a non- problogger can ask for. Like a rising number of young professional-topic bloggers who work full time in other jobs, I’m not doing this for money, in case you haven’t noticed the obvious lack of ads or “hire me” buttons here.
So why am I telling you this, offering an uncharacteristically tip-less post about my personal life, priorities, and blogging habits of late?
What I’ve learned in the past few months, and especially in the past few days since my stress-fast began, is that it’s critical for your personal and career health to prioritize for your relationships from the top-down. That means first prioritizing for relationships above all other aspects of your personal and professional life. Then it means prioritizing within your relationships to invest your time and attention – those truly limited resources that only you can provide – starting with the most important ones first.
The reason this is important is because when you have a healthy relationship-life, the rest of your life improves too. You are happier. Easier to work with. More satisfied with life. More stable in your sense of self. Able to find balance. People start to notice the difference. Opportunities arise.
So, look at where you invest your time. It will paint a clear picture for you of your priorities. Then be real with yourself: Do you have the strength of character it takes to invest your time into your relationships - instead of somewhere else? To build real connections with real people. To stop doing whatever it is that distracts you so you can instead pour yourself into the real time world that surrounds you?
Because the future of you depends on where you invest your time now.
Be daring. Be bold. Put relationships first. There’s time for the rest. Just make it second.
Topics: Life, Personal PR, Relationships, Success, Work Life Balance | 17 Comments »
5 Easy Ways to Make your Comments Section a Conversation
By Tiffany Monhollon | March 17, 2008
In order to effectively build a relationship with a reader, you have to do more than just build great content that Google loves. It’s important build relationships with readers through conversation. Think about your friends in real life. One of the primary things that characterizes the level of relationship you have with a friend is how often and in-depth you communicate. The same goes for any relationship - especially online. It’s impossible to have a virtual relationship with someone you don’t communicate with. That’s why step one in creating powerful reader contact is to make your comments section an ongoing conversation with participants.
Why You Need Comments to Grow
As a blogger, you want comments for a lot of reasons. New readers, especially people who find your content in single-serving form through sites like del.icio.us, Digg, or StumbleUpon, will judge the success of your blog through the one post they discover your site through. And they will judge the success of that post at first glance, largely based on how others respond to it. So having an active comments section is critical to establishing credibility to new readers and converting them into new subscribers and active participants.
What You Can Do About It
So how can you convert the 90% of readers who lurk into the 10% of readers who participate? Try these five tips to get started
1. Extend the invitation. Almost every blogger I know wants comments - save the few mega-bloggers who have infamously turned off the comments function, or those who have experienced horrific stalker issues. But it may surprise you how few people ask for them. This is a tricky thing to do, because you don’t want to appear desperate, but if you don’t extend the invitation to join the conversation to your readers, many won’t. So end each post so that it engages thought. Ask for personal experiences or examples from your readers that confirm or oppose your advice. Ask an open-ended question or end with an example or scenario to leave readers thinking about how they could apply your ideas. Whether you do it directly or in an implied way, make sure you extend the invitation to the party in your comments section within each post.
2. Comment on your own post. Unless you are a top blogger and engaging comments isn’t an issue for you, it’s critical to reply to each comment that’s left. Whether or not generating comments is an issue, commenting personally in response to readers is a great way to thread a personal touch through the narrative of your entire blog. Plus, it demonstrates to readers that you’re accessible, friendly, and interested in their perspective. This builds trust which is a critical component of establishing a relationship.
3. Enable subscriptions to your comments. Many readers enjoy the comments section of your blog as much as - and sometimes more than - the content you write alone. Make sure readers can subscribe to follow the conversation and keep chiming in. If you’re using Wordpress, here is a great plugin I use that you can install right now to make sure your readers can follow the conversation at each post you write. This simple step will extend the life of a blog post for days or even weeks beyond when you first post and keep readers coming back to chime in more.
4. Dig deeper. Bring new information into the conversation as often as you can through your own comments to your post. Surprise readers with a new statistic, contradict yourself for the sake of spurring deeper thought, or ask new questions - to your readership as a whole or specific readers within your comments conversation. This encourages readers to continue engaging in the conversation and taking it up themselves. A solid post can spark a truly meaningful conversation in an entire community of readers, so make sure you’re helping add value to the conversation as it evolves. Sometimes, a great comments section will generate questions or spark ideas that can help you create highly relevant, interactive content for your entire readership to enjoy, so be intimately acquainted with the conversation that’s going on at your blog.
5. Dare to debate. Controversy and debate are the hallmarks of some of the most popular destinations online. They’re also - well - controversial in the blogosphere since many bloggers sensationalize or bait readers with quasi controversial headlines or subcontexts. But that doesn’t debate or controversy can’t be a healthy, constructive thing. Don’t shy away from criticism or debate in the comment section of your blog; instead, embrace it as an opportunity to demonstrate your cool under pressure with an open-minded, well-though-out response. Dare readers to take the debate to their blog and extend the conversation there. Don’t run from criticism simply because it’s uncomfortable to deal with. Realize that great conversation can be marked by open-minded debate.
Like any great conversation, your comments section has a lot to offer - to you, your readers, and anyone who happens upon it. How will you use the conversational elements of comments to transform your blog into a relationship-making tool?
This post is part two of my series on how to build powerful relationships with readers. Don’t miss a word of this free series. Subscribe to Personal PR today.
Topics: Blogging, Communicating, Personal PR, Relationships, Strategy | 26 Comments »
5 Reader Contact Techniques to Build Powerful Relationships
By Tiffany Monhollon | March 8, 2008
In developing a relationship-building strategy for your blog, it’s important to have a strategic linking plan, to comment constructively, and last but not least, to make the effort to connect on a personal level with your readers.
Navigating the stages of reader contact
Contact with you readers is critical at all stages of blogging: when you’re brand-new, when you’re established, and when you’re a rockstar.
New Kid in the Blogosphere
You’ll have to start out being proactive about contact. The good news is, brand-new bloggers can establish themselves as professional and valuable through using reader contact properly. Turn other bloggers in the new and established levels into readers of your blog by regularly commenting on their blogs and linking to their content. Then, when they transition into readers, these five contact tips will come in handy in helping you form relationships that will take your blog to new levels of success.
Established Niche Blogger
As your relationships (and readership) grow, you’ll start to become an established, recognized blogger within your niche. You’ll still need to be proactive about contact, but at a new level. Now you will be able to more successfully contact bloggers at the Rockstar level because you have demonstrated your thought-leadership and persistence. You’ll also grow a large peer-base of established bloggers. It’s also a great opportunity for you to mentor a beginner blogger, so don’t forget to continue contacting new bloggers. You will also find some readers becoming proactive with you. Bloggers at the established (and even Rockstar) level will start pitching you to review their blog, book or service. But you’ll also probably be busier with the day-to-day of running your blog as your popularity grows. So taking the time to make contact with your readers at this level can really set you apart and build relationships that other bloggers may neglect to foster, securing your readership and opening doors to bigger and cooler opportunities.
Rockstar
When you get to the stage where bloggers outside your niche recognize your blog, you probably will also have a large, loyal following. So, making time for reader contact is a discipline. But it is also still valuable. Readers at all levels will be proactive with you, so top bloggers who are good at responding to readers and being proactive in making reader contact can easily transition their readers into a large army of personal advocates to spread their brand, their blog, their ideas, their company, etc. to thousands of other readers - because everyone wants to be friends with a rockstar blogger. And bloggers help their friends. Entrepreneur / bloggers like Penelope Trunk have used reader contact to build relationships with new bloggers who have become guest bloggers and eventually business partners (for a company based on fostering relationships among Gen Y bloggers, at that.)
No matter what level of blogger you are, don’t underestimate the power of building relationships with readers through contact. So how can you use reader contact to build these powerful relationships?
Here are the top five categories of reader contact that will work to help you build real, dynamic, and invaluable relationships with readers. Make sure to stay tuned in the next few weeks, as I divulge the top techniques of reader contact bloggers at any level can use in each of these categories, along with some powerful resources for each one.
- Your comments section
- Social networks
- Phone
- In-person meet ups
Did I miss something? Let me know your top reader contact categories in the comments section.
Subscribe to Personal PR today to make sure you don’t miss a word of this free series.
Topics: Blogging, Communicating, Personal PR, Relationships, Strategy | 8 Comments »
Finding Inspiration: 5 Blogging Secrets Inside an iPod
By Tiffany Monhollon | February 29, 2008
Creativity, connection, inspiration. As a blogger, these are some of the most valuable commodities, regardless of your topic or niche. So it’s nice when they surface in the most unexpected of places.
Lately, I’ve been finding myself in hyper-go-mode. And to be honest, it’s a challenge just to get in my self-imposed mandatory one post a week minimum. And I’m the type that thrives under pressure. So I know it’s bad when I’m getting only four hours of sleep a night and still struggling to manage my to-do list, plan my upcoming wedding, and keep my house in shape.
So I’ll take my inspiration when it comes. And today, it came through the lyrics that reached my ears from my trusty red iPod. Since I work with words so much as a part of my job, I don’t usually listen to music with lyrics during the day. But, since I had a day with a little different pace, I let myself tune in to some music with words. And the funniest thing happened: almost everything I heard seemed to be about – blogging.
Songs I’ve listened to a hundred times took on a whole new meaning. My mind, desperately seeking a connection, inspiration, made meaning out of the most unlikely of sources. Here’s what I heard:
1. “When there’s nothing left to burn, you have to set yourself on fire.” The opening line of Stars’ album Set Yourself on Fire is a perfect illustration of what it can be like to run a successful blog, especially if you’re aiming to avoid the lazysphere. When you have no time, when life and work and relationships in your real life take priority, you have to find the passion and inspiration within yourself to keep going. There are millions and millions of blogs out there. Some are people’s full time jobs. Others, like mine, are a professional “hobby” in my “spare” time. What’s going to set yours apart? Is your passion enough to drive you?
2. “Everything looks perfect from far away.” It may seem pretty simple to create and manage a popular blog. After all, people do it all the time. The truth is, the time, effort, and pressure are intense. Worth it, but intense. So it’s easy for bloggers to get wrapped up into all the activity, research, writing and networking that it takes. Caught up in microcelebrity, unaware that to everyone else in our lives, we’re just “waving from such great heights.” Even though the Postal Service (or Iron and Wine, depending on your mood) didn’t mean to tell you this, take heed: “Come down now.” If your blog is consuming you to the point of obsession, take a minute to step away. Don’t obsess over your stats all day long. Spend time, in person, with your friends. Enjoy your life. Trust me, it will help your blogging too.
3. “You can write, but you can’t edit.” The catchy hook from Regina Spektor’s Edit hits on an important and undervalued skill in blogging: the ability to self-edit. Everyone’s got something to say, and most bloggers can write about it. That’s why we’re here. But can you edit on the macro level and tailor your thoughts and ideas in a way that forms a cohesive, valuable topic or niche? At the micro level, do you have the discipline to fine-tune each word so that your content emphasizes what’s important and cuts the rest, or do you fall in love with your own words so much that what you’re trying to say never gets across?
4. “Are you only being nice because you want something?” Thom Yorke asks in The Eraser. Then he confesses that’s his motivation. The truth is, for better or worse, that’s also the case for pretty much every blogger I know. After all, no one’s making us do this. What exactly we want out of it differs – a platform, a business, an income; relationships, inspiration, change. So admit that first – that you’re doing this because you want something. Define that something. Embrace it. Don’t let it do you in. And then realize that since everyone in this grand conversation called the blogosphere is here because we want something, our best way to get what we want is to help other people get what they’re after first.
5. “You’re the same when you’re living.” Maybe the rest of this Broken Social Scene song (Stars and Sons) doesn’t apply, maybe it does, but I love it nonetheless, and I love that line. Because it’s become my motto as I’ve dug deeper into the blogosphere – to be the same person every place I write online as I am if you met me anywhere. That’s because all the best bloggers are those who write like they live, what they live, how they think. That’s what makes them real, authentic, interesting – and successful.
Where are you looking for inspiration? What lyrics move you? Feel free to share your favorites in the comments, and don’t forget:
Inspiration is everywhere. Find it. Let it find you. Be moved.
Topics: Authenticity, Blogging, Personal PR, Strategy, Success, Writing | 7 Comments »
