A lot of things in life can define us. How we spend our time, the things we do for a living, who we surround ourselves with, our realized and unrealized dreams

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about exactly what it is that defines things. Me, for example. I think a lot about what it is that defines me.

Is it what I do? The words I speak? The look on my face? The things I didn’t say?

Not who am I — but who am I to you?

Today, a friend of mine is launching a book. A book about personal branding.

I’ll tell you right now that I haven’t read the book. So if you’re looking for a review, try here instead. But I promised Dan that I’d be writing a post about his launch, so what I can tell you is that Dan knows a thing or two about how persistence, dedication, and pluck can help you create a solid personal image. And I can tell you first-hand that Dan’s pretty much proven over the last few years that, at the very least, he practices what he preaches. And he preaches about personal branding. So, you do the math.

But here’s what’s interesting about Dan, other than his extreme dedication and relentless effort: I’m not the only one who will tell you the exact same story about his hard work and expertise. Because everything Dan does is focused on defining exactly what he wants to be.

Sometimes, what we don’t do defines us.

I think about this a lot. About the projects I didn’t pursue. About the class I didn’t take. About the relationships I let fade away.

I’ve always been a person who has a hard time saying no. Letting go is not one of my strong suits.

But it never ceases to amaze me how important saying no and letting go can be, in the end.

The guy I didn’t marry. The job I didn’t take.

What you choose not to do creates the space that remains.

What will you build, in those places?